Who is Hatem Al Assam (حاتم الاصم)

He was a very wise person, known for his great trust onto Allah. He was one of the disciple of Shaqiq Al Balkhi. 

In all his circumstances, from beginning to end, he never once acted untruthfully, so that Junayd said: “Hatem al-Asamm is the veracious one (siddiq) of our time.” He has lofty sayings on the subtleties of discerning the cankers of the soul and the weaknesses of human nature, and is the author of famous works on ethics (`ilm-i mu`amalat). 

Hatem Al Assam is known for many wisdom words, among the most famous ones, is the speech he had with his shaikh Shaqiq.

One day Shaqiq Al Balkhi asked his student Hatem: Since how long have you kept my company?

Hatem replied: since thirty years.

Shaqiq asked him then: What have you then learnt from me in this period of time?

Hatem replied: I have gained from you eight benefits

Shaqiq said: We are to Allah and to Allah we shall return, my age was spent with you and you only learnt eight issues ?!

Hatem said: O Professor, I did not learn other than these and I do not like to lie

Shaqiq said: then give me these eight issues so that I could hear them.

Hatem al-Asam said: 

The first benefit is that I observed the creation and saw that everyone had loved one and one passionately desired whom he loved and longed for. Some of the beloved accompany the lover up to the brink of sickness and death and others to the gate of the graveyard. All of them return and leave him there alone. No one goes into the tomb with him. I looked into the matter and said to myself: 'The best beloved is that which would enter the tomb with the lover to console him'; I found it to be nothing else than good works, so I took this as my beloved, to illuminate my grave for me and to comfort me in it and not leave me alone.

At this point Shaqiq said: "May Allah bless you and grant you success. What is the second one?"

The second benefit is that I saw that the people were following their lusts and hastening towards the desires of the souls; and I meditated on the saying of Allah the Exalted: " But as for whoever has feared the Majesty of his Lord and has refrained his soul from lust, truly the Garden shall be his dwelling place" (Quran, 79:40-41). Convinced that the Quran was true and right, I began to deny my soul [its pleasures] and hurried to combat it and refuse it its passionate desires, until I enjoyed real satisfaction in obedience to Allah the Exalted.

The third benefit is that I saw that every human being is striving to accumulate as much as he can from the wreckage of this world and then holding on strongly to it. I meditated on the Quranic verse: "What is with you vanishes; what is with Allah is lasting" (Quran, 19:96). So I gave freely my wordy possessions for His sake by distributing them among the poor so that it would be my provision in the future with Him the Exalted.

The fourth benefit is that some people whom I observed think that their dignity and honor lie in the multitude of their family and large clans. They were fascinated by these things. Others claimed honor and dignity in abundance of wealth and children, and they were proud of it. Some believed honor and power abide in appropriating the wealth of others, doing injustice to them and shedding their blood. Others considered dignity to consist of extravagance and spending wealth in a foolish manner. I meditated upon the saying of the Exalted: "The most honored of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you "(Quran, 49:13). I chose righteousness for myself, convinced that the Quran is right and true and those claims and opinions of the people are all false and temporal.

The fifth benefit is that I found people slandering each other and speaking ill of one another out of envy of fortune, power and knowledge. I meditated upon the saying of Allah: It is We who divide their livelihood among them in the life of this world (Quran, 43:32). I realized that the process of dividing livelihood is entirely in the hands of Allah since the beginning of time. Therefore I never envied anyone and was satisfied with the distribution of Allah the Exalted.

The sixth benefit is that I saw people becoming enemies of each other for difference reasons. I meditated upon the saying of Allah: "Verily, Satan is an enemy to you; so treat him as an enemy"(Quran, 35:6). I became aware that enmity with anyone except Satan was not permissible.

The seventh benefit is that I saw everyone working very hard, exhausting themselves to obtain food and sustenance, tempted by doubts and forbidden things. They degraded themselves in humiliation. I pondered over the saying of Allah the Exalted: "There is no moving creature on earth but that its sustenance is dependent on Allah"(Quran, 11:6). I knew that my livelihood is guaranteed by Allah the Exalted, so I engaged myself in worship and cut off my covetousness of all else, other than Him.

The eighth benefit is that I saw that everyone relied on some created thing, some on the dinar and dirham, some on wealth and property, some on trade and craft and some on creatures like themselves. I meditated on the saying of Allah the Exalted: "And whosoever places his reliance on Allah, sufficient is [Allah] for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose. Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion"(Quran, 65:3). I therefore placed full trust in Allah the Exalted. He is sufficient for me and He is the best Disposer of affairs."

Shaqiq said: O Hatem, May Allah Help you, I looked at the science and found all kinds of goodness and religion, are turning around these eight issues.

Other Wisdom words from Hatem Al Assam:

Hafiz Abu Naim reports that a man asked Hatem Al Assam: On which things have you built your trust (tawakkul) onto Allah?

Hatem replied: on four qualities: I learned that my sustenance will not be taken by another other person, so I am at peace with that, and I learned that my work will not be done by any other one, so I keep busy at it, and I learned that death comes suddenly so I am hastening to prepare for it, and I learned that I do not escape from Allah's sight, so I keep shy of Him.

Should You Change/Quit Your Job?

,,and the answer to this question is most likely: NO.

It could happen that you reach a point where you feel that your current job is not suitable for you anymore. You may not  enjoy the work anymore, you feel depressed, surrounded by " enemy colleagues", or have an incompetent and dictatorial manager.

Sometimes on the other hands, you already have a good job and suddenly,  you get a call one day from another company asking you to join them as they are in need of your expertise.

In both cases, most of your friends or other colleagues or relatives would then certainly  tell you to go ahead and find something better for you. Well, that might not really be the case.

What are the Ulamas saying on this

Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen, may Allah Have Mercy on him said: It has been reported from Umar Ibn Al- Khattab May Allah be Pleased with him,  a very useful word, which is saying: “Whoever finds the barakah (blessing) in something, then let him hold onto it”, means if a person performs a work and finds in it the blessing and success, let him not change it or drop it. 

Encouragement to feel satisfied

The satisfaction (القناعة) is a treasure, whoever finds it, has certainly succeeded and is successful. Certainly, the richness is the richness of the heart, whoever was granted this blessing (satisfaction) by Allah is living a peaceful life.

The richness of heart will inherit a person the satisfaction that makes him not look at what is in the hands of other people of wealth, because such person would not look at who is above him, rather he would look at who is below him so that he would not belittle the blessings of Allah on him. So you would find him always having an increase of richness while thanking and praising his Master Allah, to the opposite of the one who constantly look at the ones above him,  so he curses what he has and Allah the Puts the poverty between his eyes and all his life is miserable and full of anger, depression sorrow and distress. 

What is Satisfaction/ Contentment (القناعة)

Qana'aa is taken from if someone is content/satisfied with something, he is happy with it and does not wish to have more than that and he does not want to reach out to others, and not wishing what is in the hands of others to be his. 

The believer must be content even if he is poor and in need.

One of the hadeeths of contentment is from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, in an authentic hadeeth where the Prophet (PBUH) said: " Let no one of you look at who is above him in wealth or creation" . 

So do not look to who is better than you in wealth or in the creation, you may have a weak body, but Allah blessed you with health. You might not have nice hair, but you were granted nice teeth. If you keep looking at who is stronger than you, and who is wealthier than you, you will never feel content with what Allah Gave you in blessings.

No matter how you look at a strong person, you will always find someone stronger than him.This applies to the animals too, an animal will always find another one stronger than him, and the bird will always find a better looking bird. 

This applies to occupations too, you will always find someone who has a better job than you.

Such is life, Allah Has created humans, and He has split on them different wealth and different occupations. The Engineer will always need the cleaner, then cleaner will always need the doctor, the doctor will always need the plumber and the plumber will always need the mason and so on. We just cannot imagine the planet could be just full of doctors, or full of teachers or full of engineers, the word would collapse, this is the way Allah Has created us, we need one another.

Real Case Stories:

I would like to share with you some real stories of people whom I worked with and whom I know personally. I have many other cases, but I will only list a few here.

Case #1 - M:

M. was a supervisor, he got a nice job working for our company on a rotation schedule 4 x 4 in a nice country. M. did not really like the weather in this new country and started complaining from the 1st week at work. At the same time, there were 3 other companies looking for him. I told him to stay patient and to take this excellent opportunity  but to no avail. Somehow, M. decided to quit his job and returned home for another job. I have then been in contact with him and across the following 5 years, he was living very miserably, all the other companies that had looked for him were not in need of his services anymore. He kept making job interviews but there were just no job for him, and I though Subhane Allah, when Allah granted you a job without any interview, you did not realize this blessing, now you have to go through several interviews and you just cannot get one.

Case #2 - Y:

Y's case was almost similar to M's, except that Y. was an Engineer. Y. was also hired to work in a nice country, but several companies were seeking his expertise and kept luring him. Seeing this, Y. started growing grumpier at work and he was openly showing it, he would often confront his manager for this and that, until reaching a point where his manager decided to let him go at the first opportunity, which happened during the oil collapse in early 2000.
Y did join of the companies that were luring him, but he only stayed there for two weeks before they had to let him go due to cost cuttings (last in, first out principle).
Y. then struggled for a couple of years, he got lucky that the industry got healthier and he was able to join back our company in some other place. He since then learnt to be more thankful to Allah and take more care of his job.

Case #3 - K:

K. was an Engineer. Same to Y, things started to change when other companies started contacting him for joining them. He took this opportunity to ask for higher position and better place, else he would quit and join this other company.

Our company tried to retain him and offered him some substantial increase, but K did not thank Allah for that and set up his mind to quit. 

I spoke with K about M and Y and told him not to do so, that he should be learning from the mistakes of others but again, to no avail.

One year after he joined that company, K got laid off. He struggled for some time trying to get back. After a long time, the company offered him a job but it was not as high as the original one he was offered but had turned down. He had no choice but to accept and returned working under their conditions.

Case #4 - D & L:

D & L were top brains in our corporate office, they had several years experience and had many contacts. They decided to go and open their own consultancy company. Within 6 months, they ran bankrupted. One of them managed to get back to the company, but the other one ended working as a night shift company man on a rig somewhere in Alaska, a complete drop in his career!..

Lessons learnt:

1. From all the above, it appears that one should really be careful with his/her job when Allah has giving him the provision.Never cut your provision with your own hands or you will regret it!
2. Very often, the people who quit/change their work get very disappointed with their new company, because they always saw some of the glittering gold on the other side, but forgot to see the glittering gold that they already had.
3. The neighbor's grass is NOT greener, take what you already have and perfect yourself in the current position. Remember that it is Allah Who Gives, and you should direct your requests to Him only. If you want a pay raise, ask Allah, if you want a better manager, ask Allah, if you want a better position, ask Allah. All the keys are in His Hands.
4. Past experience has shown that it is the same issues wherever you go, so just stick where you are and try to make the most of it, keep thanking Allah for what you already have.
5. Your salary will come to you one way or another, remember that the wealth to reach you has already been written on you before you were even born, there is a hadeeth on this. Wherever you are, you will get your provision, as Allah will shower you with your daily provision. It is crucial that you do not cut your provision with your own hands and run into trouble. 
6. Rest assured that your wealth is yours, and only yours, no one else will take it. Whatever Allah Has split on you as substance, it is for you alone and you will get it, and you will get it to the last penny. So do not worry for your provisions, but do not sleep hoping to get money, rather you should move ahead with careful decisions and make tawakklul onto Allah, but do not waste your wealth or lose yourself.
7. Keep satisfied with what you already have. Do not look at people above you, but look at the thousands or millions that are below you and would love to get the same position that you have.
8. When you are afflicted in your job, just stay patient and things should improve. The bad manager will never last for ever, the bad colleague will soon move on, and the work load will soon get lighter.
9. Just stay patient, and be thankful for whatever you have always, always, always...

Will changing/quitting your job bring you happiness?

If things really start to turn sour at work, and you really get into non-productive mode, then you may resort to change your work, but do not quit it.

For those who want to lean more, spend some time and read this article below pulled from Harvard Business Review:

What the Experts Say

According to Gretchen Spreitzer, professor of management and organizations at University of Michigan's Ross School of Business and coauthor of "Creating Sustainable Performance," people are highly dissatisfied when their job has no meaning or purpose to them, provides little opportunity to learn, or leaves them depleted at the end of the work day.

Whatever the reason you are unhappy, you don't have to just live with it or quit. In fact, even if you are able to find another job, staying put may be the best option. "Job searching and changing jobs is not a trivial matter. It is often costly to career momentum and earnings as much as it is a boon," says Amy Wrzesniewski, an associate professor of organizational behavior at the Yale School of Management and coauthor of "Turn the Job You Have into the Job You Want." The good news is that there is usually more leeway to alter your job than you think. "There are often real areas for movement and change that people tend not to recognize," she says. Here's how to make the most of an imperfect job situation.

Look at yourself
Whether or not you are satisfied with your job often has to do with your disposition, says Sigal Barsade, the Joseph Frank Bernstein Professor of Management at The Wharton School. Some people are naturally inclined to be unhappy, while others have a brighter take on life. Before you declare your job a bad fit, take a look at yourself. Barsade says it's worth asking: Are you just the kind of person who tends to be dissatisfied? This understanding may not make you like your job better, but may make you think twice before you look for a new position.

Find meaning
Speitzer's research shows that finding more meaning in your work can dramatically improve job satisfaction. Barsade agrees; she recommends looking at your job responsibilities through a different lens. For example, if your position involves menial tasks, try to remember they are stepping stones to a longer term goal and you won't be doing them forever. Or, if you are in a field that is emotionally taxing, like nursing or social work, remind yourself that while you are tired at the end of the day, you are helping others. It also helps to connect with colleagues. Seek out opportunities to show compassion and express gratitude. Spend time with coworkers you like. "Stronger emotional connections at work lead to a myriad of positive physiological and social effects," says Barsade.

Alter what you do
If you can't change your perspective, you may be able to shift your job responsibilities. And you don't necessarily have to transfer departments or get a promotion to do it. Spreitzer and Wrzesniewski suggest using a job crafting exercise to redesign your job to better fit your motives, strengths, and passions. "Some people make radical moves; others make small changes" in how they delegate or schedule their day, Wrzesniewski says. While the former might require approval from your manager, the latter often doesn't. For example, if your most enjoyable task is talking with clients, but you feel buried in paperwork, you might decide to always speak with clients in the morning, so you're energized to get through the drudge work for the rest of the day. Or you might save talking with your clients until the end of the day as a reward.

Change who you interact with
If it's not the work you dislike but the people you work with, you may be able to change that too. Wrzesniewski says she has seen people successfully alter who they interact with on a daily basis to increase job satisfaction. Focus on forging relationships that give you energy, rather than sapping it. Seek out people who can help you do your job better. Wrzesniewski gives the example of workers at a hospital who were responsible for cleaning patients' rooms. They relied on a centralized dispatch to tell them when rooms were open and what products were safe to use based on the occupant. But dispatch didn't always have the most up-to-date information. This meant the workers couldn't do their jobs as well as they wanted to, leaving them dissatisfied. When they developed relationships with the clerks on each ward, they received more accurate information and were able to do a more efficient job of cleaning. Of course, if your relationship with your boss or your coworkers is especially difficult, you may not be able to work around them. "Job crafting can't turn around any job situation. It's not a cure-all," Wrzesniewski says.

Resist complaining
When you're in the wrong job, it can be tempting to moan about it to others. But it's not advisable. "Complaining about your job is a recipe for trouble. You never know how the complaints may be shared with others in the organization," says Spreitzer. Plus you may drag others down with you. If you are unhappy, it's better to focus on what you can change not grumble about what you can't.

Keep options open
The improvements you make to your job situation may make things more tolerable, but you should always be open to the next thing. "You can improve your job but you can also be on the lookout for new opportunities," says Speitzer. Be sure your resume (e.g. your LinkedIn profile) is up to date and that you are continually meeting people in the field you want to be in.

Principles to Remember

Do:

• Make connections with people you like at work
• Assess what you don't enjoy about your job so that you can minimize the time you spend doing unwanted tasks
• Keep your options open — you may not be able to leave your job now, but circumstances may change

Don't:

• Assume that the job is the problem — you may be prone to being dissatisfied
• Think you're stuck — there is usually more leeway to alter your job than you think
• Complain incessantly about your job and bring others down

Reference : Don't Like Your Job? Change It (Without Quitting)

You Are Beautiful The Way Allah Created You

A news article caught my attention this morning, it was about a young Thai woman, 33,  who died after weeks in coma, following an illegal cosmetic filler injection into her buttocks: 'Sleeping beauty' dies after weeks in coma

http://www.yourhealth.com.sg/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/field/image/oct0312_sleeping.jpg

In today's world, beauty seems to become the obsession of so many people, both men and women. But why do people seek to look "better" and spend a fortune on cosmetics/ plastic surgeries and other beautification treatments?

I personally think that the answer to these questions could originate on the fact that few people are really "thankful" to Allah for what they already have, people are not satisfied with themselves because they fail to recognize the blessings that Allah Has already bestowed on them. Another possible answer is that people are seeking to please the society, or please "other ones" rather than Allah, and both the society and "other one" will just never be pleased, no matter what they could do.

It is impossible to get everything to make a person happy. There will always be something else that this person would seek to have. The Prophet (S) talked about this in his hadeeth, as Narrated by Ibn 'Abbas:
I heard the Prophet saying, "If the son of Adam (the human being) had two valley of money, he would wish for a third, for nothing can fill the belly of Adam's son except dust, and Allah forgives him who repents to him." 444. Volume 8, Book 76 To make the Heart Tender

Allah the Exalted says (what means): “And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (14:34)

And The Exalted said (what means): “And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (16:18)

The neighbour's grass looks always greener, seek the happiness in what you already have, look for the people who are below you and don't look at the ones above you, that will allow you to appreciate what you already have and would lead you to thank Allah.You will then certainly find the beauty inside you.

May Allah Make Blessings in All that He Bestowed on us and Make our hearts satisfied with His Favors.

Should our women work or stay at home?

I just wanted to share a recent article from Business insider, for some good thinking:

Here's Proof That Working Mothers Spend More Just To Have A Career

Full-time employment may be driving mothers to spend, according to the latest Consumer Expenditure Survey released by the U.S. Dept. of Labor. 

Not only do working mothers spend more on childcare expenses compared to their unemployed counterparts ($6,864 vs. $2,962), they spend more on eating out ($3,092 vs. $2,606) and on household maintenance and repairs ($3,427 vs. to $2,300). 

The Bureau also found that working mothers shell out more for transpiration and car repairs ($3,094 compared to $2,652), because they're clearly commuters. The only place where things evened out among both groups was at the dry cleaners, where working mothers spend a mere $8 more than unemployed mothers. 

While most working parents would agree that having a career puts a real time-constraint on being a parent, the findings prove that America still has a way to go in helping women achieve some semblance of financial stability. Still, experts remain divided on how to best solve the issue. 

Anne-Marie Slaughter famously argued in the August issue of The Atlantic that an infrastructure should be put in place to help working mothers balance their frenetic home and work lives—on-site child care, working hours that mirror school schedules, satellite offices. On the other end of the spectrum, Will Bonner, author of "Family Fortunes," says the dual-income model should be ditched altogether. In fact, he believes it's making families even poorer. 

"When both family members work, neither works hard enough at his task to succeed," he writes. "If both adult family members are working, it adds to family expenses in terms of child care, transportation, clothing for work, meals, tutoring, and other necessary expenses that come with holding two full-time jobs." 

You could read the article from its source in here 

Some words of wisdom

"Rain in our countries means a great blessed day, but in other countries it means a horrible day! What you see beautiful in your eyes might seem ugly to others. Familiarize yourself on differences."

"Do not rely on the word "they said" in order to judge on people and things: try it yourself, for how many mirages people thought to be gushing water"

"Do not be among the blaming ones today, for tomorrow you could be among the afflicted ones"

"When the bird live, they eat the ants, but when the birds die, the ants eat them. All matters in life can just change in a moment".

"The positive person has endless ideas but the negative person has endless excuses"

A mother talking to her son, with advice - Anonymous

"My dear son,

One day, you will see me old…not logic in my behaviors

When I would reach that day, then, please..

Give me from your time and some or your patience to understand me

When my hand would tremble and food would fall on me

And when I won’t be able to wear my clothes on my own

Then please bear patience with me,

And remember that years passed while I was teaching you what I am not be able to teach you today

I am not pretty anymore, or having a nice smell

Do not blame me and remember all my attempts to make you nice and smelling good while you were a child

Do not laugh at me when you see my ignorance and non-understanding of your generation

But, be my eyes and my brain so that I would catch up with what passed me

I am the one who educated you; I am the one who taught you how to face life

So how can you teach me today what must be and what should not be???

Do not be fed up with my lack of memory, my slow speech and slow thinking when I talk with you

Because my only pleasure during the conversation is just to be with you!

Just help me to achieve what I have a need of

Because I still know what I want!!

When my feet let go of me and fail to take me where I want

Be kind to me and remember that I took your hands so many times so that you could walk

Do not be ashamed to take my hands today, as tomorrow, 

You would be the one seeking who would take your hands

In my current age, know that I am not after life like you do

But, in simplicity, I am waiting for death…so be with me, and do not be against me…

When you remember something from my mistakes, then please know that I only wanted you good

And certainly, the best you could for me now,

Is to forgive my shortcomings, and keep my awrah, may Allah Forgive you and Protect you

Your laughter and smiles make me happy just exactly as when you were young

So do not deprive me from your companionship

I was with you when you were born, so be with me when I would die"..

The above has been translated from Arabic from Anonymous mail chain, I found it very powerful. May Allah Make us Take care of our Parents the proper way, may Allah Make us zuriyah Saliha for our parents, and May Allah Forgive us all our shortcomings towards our dear Parents...

We take so many things for granted, when a simple call of "mommy" would have such an impact on some people.

My Grand Mother Meriem was an orphan. When she married and had her first child, it was a daughter. When her daugher grew up a bit, she called her mom : "mama"..it was her first word...and my Grand Mother cried,,,she cried because she did not know what it was to have a mom and call her "mama"...it left an impact on her, and she still  remembered and described that instant years after her children grew up...may Allah Have Mercy on my Grand Mother, and on all the People who have passed away.

If we succeed to leave behind us children who would remember us and make duas to us after we die, then we would have certainly achieved something important in our life. Let us be thankful to Allah for the children we have, and for having parents who were kind to us, for so many people have been deprived from these blessings.

Translation of a Poem from Imam Shafi'i: "O the one with sorrow, the sorrow will be gone"

Done some translation on a Poem from Imam Shafi'ii, many Imams are referring to it during their Khutbas & lectures, I knew it in Arabic and the following is an attempt to translate it into English, although the real meaning won't be close to the Arabic words. Arabic language is an extremely powerful one and it is not an easy matter to try to translate the meaning of the words.
Anyway, I like this Poem and I found it more than handy at several occasions.
Note: there are many variants of this Poem and I am not sure if the one below is the authentic one, I apologize if this is not the exact original text.

يا صاحب الهم إن الهم منفرجٌ *** أبشـر بخير ٍ فإن الفارج الله

O the one with sorrow, the sorrow will be gone***rejoice with good as the Opener is Allah

اليأس يقطع أحيانا بصاحبـه *** لا تيــأسن فـإن الصانع الله

Despair can sometimes cut his owner***Do not lose hope as Allah is the Maker

الله يُحدث بعد العسر ميسرةً *** لا تجـزعنَّ فإن الكافي الله

Allah would make after hardship ease***Do not be anxious as Allah is The Sufficient

إذا ابتليت فثق بالله وارض به *** إن الذي يكشف البلوى هو الله

If you are tested then trust Allah and be satisfied with Him***the One who Removes the tribulations is Allah

إذا قضى الله فاستسلم لقدرته *** فما ترى حيلة فيما قضى الله

If Allah Decreed a matter then submit to His Power***as you won’t see any subterfuge to what Allah Has Decreed

Sites for Islamic Books

Just to share with you some links to good Islamic books (free to download):

http://www.harunyahya.com/en/53/categories/For-Children

http://www.binoria.org/index_ebooks.html

I know by reading the web that many people are just struggling to find these websites. Very often, people are not literate enough to operate a google search, it is our duty to try to lead and help these people the most we could, and not assume that everyone surfing is knowledgeable onto finding the information we think is easy for all. "Never assume, always check". Thank you.

May 28 & July 16: the dates indicating the exact Qiblah direction

Have you ever wondered how can some old Mosques face the exact direction of Qiblah? Our ancestors had acute knowledge of the environment in which they were living in, one of them was to make use of the sun as it passes on top of Mekkah during 2 specific days of the year, where it is right above the Kaaba.

The following entry will try to simplify the method of determining the exact Qiblah direction using the sun during these specific days. 

Conclusion:

Using the sun on the specific dates mentioned above is providing accurate Qiblah direction, but unfortunately for the  Muslims who live in most of North America, South America, Australia and Antarctica , it will not be helpful.

There are many other methods that could be used instead, which might be the subject of another entry in the future. One of these methods is to use the antipodes of the Kaaba, i.e. use the days when the sun passes exactly under the Kaaba on the other side of the globe. This too occurs twice in each year on 12 or 13 January at 21:29 UTC [0:29 Saudi local time] and on 28 November at 21:09 UTC [0:09 Saudi local time]. In the latter case the Qiblah can be determined by simply observing the compass direction of one’s shadow at the right hour.

Up to then, I still advise my fellow brothers and sisters in Islam living in  North America, South America, Australia and Antarctica to follow the consensus among the scholars for their respective Qiblah direction and to always stick with the group.

I would like to end this entry by a question to the readers here: have you ever noticed where is the exact opposite position of the Kaabah on the other side of the globe?...

Furniture I made this Ramadhan

Al hamdulil'Allah, I have taken some time opportunity this Ramadhan to stay away from internet, look after my house and get some furniture made.
My father is a Carpenter, when I was young and teenager, father used to bring me to his carpentry shop during school holidays to teach me "the work". At that time, I just didn't particularly like it, I just wanted to be like my friends and go to the beach and enjoy myself. But father always insisted that I learn a job, as "one can never know".
Today, 30 years later, all the techniques he taught me came to hand. I found myself able to make use of my hands and be able to build my own furniture. Having a skill in hands is definitely such a great blessing. At the end of my work, I did call my father to let him know that all that he taught me when I was young, was still in my mind, nothing was lost. He was very happy and he said that a skill is like riding a bicycle, once you know it, you won't forget it.
May Allah Bless my parents, I realize that I often gave them hard times, due to ignorance and stubbornness. When I look back today, I wish I would have learnt more from them, I wish I would have been a much better son to them.
Anyway, such is life, we cannot change the past, all we can do, is teach our own children the best that we were taught, hoping that they would learn from our mistakes.

This being said, here is the main topic of this entry. Below are few pictures of the furniture made:

Cabinet with shelves and Children desk:

Shelves Cabinet with doors & Children desk 1. Kids sharing the chair while watching their favorite movie.

Shelves Cabinet with doors & Children desk 2. Kids watching their Scooby doo

Shelves Cabinet with doors & Children desk 3

Once finished, the children desk was hijacked by their mom, as she is now using it as her sewing area. The kids would have to share this place with their mom!.
Building the shelves cabinet was relatively easy, except for the door parts where getting them aligned was a bit tricky.
The desk was the simplest item to make. I wanted to add some drawers for the desk, this is still being debated. The main issue is that both boys want to sit close to one another, adding drawers would eat up the space underneath.

Custom made Bookshelf:

Next item to be done requested by my second wife, was a bookshelf. We have several folders that required proper height, along all the other items we had in our computer room. The original idea of this furniture was to be a shoe cabinet, but half way through the work, my wife said that it was too nice to be a shoe rack, I then transformed it into a bookshelf.

Bookshelf 1 - At last, we have more space than required.

Bookshelf 2. The painting on top was made by my 3 years old little boy.

Bookshelf 3. All items in place fitting perfectly.

Making the bookshelf was not much difficult, but the finishing took a lot of time.

Table:

My last item was a table for the kitchen. This was another requirement by my wife. She only asked for a small 1m x 1m working table in the kitchen, I gave her a full 6 people dining table.
The making of the table was the most complicated one because I wanted to use Aluminum legs. Combining Aluminium with wood was not very easy and this is where I had to apply my Mechanical Engineering skills along my Carpentry skills to make sure all would be sound and stable.
The most difficult part was to get the 4 legs cut at right angles and having the same lengths. I used an electric hack saw to cut the legs out of a long Aluminum profile. The cut was not easy or regular, especially at the end of the cut when the weight of the falling part was adding to the difficulty of having a neat and sharp cut. Bear in mind that I do not have a full shop, all I have is the small workshop that is going to be shown below in this entry. I had to work in the back of the house, by some stairs, using stools to level the items I intended to cut.
To adjust the legs, I had to use a grinder and it just great to have a nice tool to take care of the cutting flaws.
The table top is a series of 3 different large shelves that I assembled together to make the working area. All the parts were assembled using assorted wood screws and glued in place for additional stability.
The legs were fit onto the table top by using L-shaped supports. There are 4 L-shape supports for each leg. The supports are fixed using rivets on the aluminum part, and assorted screws on the wood parts.
Once this step done, there was a need of spreaders to stabilize the structure, as this was not enough to prevent the table from wobbling right and left. The wood spreaders gave the structure its final strength. Et voila...

Kitchen Table with Aluminum legs -1

Kitchen Table with Aluminum legs -2

Safety note:

I have used several power tools to be able to make all the above furniture. Among them were a circular saw, an electric hack saw and electric planner. Caution must be exercised for individuals who do not have the proper training or expertise to manipulate such tools. Very often, people think that these power tools are easy to use when they see them in the hands of other people (Arabic proverb: "how easy is the axe in the hands of the people"), but you must know the dangers associated with power tools and protect your hands and eyes from any harm. My brother in law lost a finger a few years ago by just using a grinder, his finger was injured in a split second. My father always taught me the dangers of the tools and how to handle them with care to avoid getting an accident. He always said that whether you are going to cut one piece or 1,000 pieces, take the same precautions because it will only take one piece to harm you, and you do not know if it is the number 1, or number 1,000, so just take the same precautions always.
DO NOT operate tools which you have no training on.

Workshop:

This is my upgraded workshop that I will call version 3. I keep improving and improving along the months, it is small but at the end of the day, it is functional and it allowed to build the furniture shown above.

Home workshop

Home workshop - Power tools stored on the lower shelves in their safety boxes.

What's next?

My main clients remain my boys. They are asking me to fix their alphabet stand. But the main work waiting on me, is that I promised my boys to make a parking toy for their cars. They have been very patient with me so far, as I have not yet started this task, but insha Allah, it will be done in the next few weeks. Up to then, let us be thankful to Allah for any skill that He Gave us, for it is Allah Who Distribute the skills among people.

Purpose of marriage and Polygamy

A good chat with my wife this morning has brought me to write a few lines on the topic. I was meant to write something on this some time ago, but al hamdulil'Allah, I am doing it finally today.

Why do we marry?

To most of us, marriage is about a worshiping act, this is half of the religion. 

By getting married a person can, with the help of Allaah, overcome many of the traps of evil, for marriage helps him to lower his gaze and guard his chastity, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in the hadeeth, “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity…” Agreed upon. 

Al-Haakim narrated in al-Mustadrak from Anas, in a marfoo’ report: “Whomever Allaah blesses with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.” 

It is very important to enter the Marriage with the right niyyah (intention) and renew this often.

Is marriage the ultimate life purpose?

Is marriage the ultimate life purpose? It seems that for many women, the life purpose is to become a wife and a mother.
Once they have both, they devote their life to this sole purpose, but when something turns other than what was expected, such as the husband marrying another one, or divorcing, or having an affair (may Allah Protect us from this), the life of such wife collapses, she becomes bitter and all of a sudden, the husband that was once her reference, becomes the most hated person that she knows with an endless list of flaws.

Very often, an individual (woman or man) forget that this life is full of tests. One way or another, Allah Would certainly test each one of us just He (SWT) said in this holy Quran Surah "Al Baqarah" - [155-157]:
وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ
Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere,
الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ
Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return":-
أُولَـٰئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ ۖ وَأُولَـٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ
They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.

Marriage is an important part of our life, but it should not be the "ultimate" purpose for us as a Muslims. If we put our life purpose as worshiping Allah (to the best we could), then it would make all the other matters fall in to their relevant places.

Ungratefulness of a wife towards her husband

Bukhari reports in the following part of Hadith:

The people say, "O Allah's Apostle! We saw you taking something from your place and then we saw you retreating." The Prophet replied, "I saw Paradise and stretched my hands towards a bunch (of its fruits) and had I taken it, you would have eaten from it as long as the world remains. I also saw the hell-fire and I had never seen such a horrible sight. I saw that most of the inhabitants were women." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! Why is it so?" The Prophet replied, "Because of their ungratefulness." It was asked whether they are ungrateful to Allah. The Prophet said, "They are ungrateful to their companions of life (husbands) and ungrateful to good deeds. If you are benevolent to one of them throughout the life and if she sees anything (undesirable) in you, she will say, 'I have never had any good from you.' "  (Sahih Bukhari, Book #18, Hadith #161)

Reading some of the blogs on internet, it is interesting (and sad) to note that some of the sisters are falling in the trap, and can only enumerate a full list of negative characters of their husbands, just like these persons never did any good to them (note the word "never").
This is particularly true if such sister saw her husband marrying another woman. It is more sad to note the different comments of "support" that other sisters offer, very few of them are sustained by Quran or Hadith.

Aren't we commanded to always testify the truth even if it is against our own selves? how can some people try to comfort a distressed person by trying to please her/him rather than pleasing Allah first? No, we must testify of the truth always, even if it is against our own self, or parents, or close relative, just as the command of Allah (SWT) in Surah  "Al Nisaa, [ 135]:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامِينَ بِالْقِسْطِ شُهَدَاءَ لِلَّهِ وَلَوْ عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَوِ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْأَقْرَبِينَ ۚ إِن يَكُنْ غَنِيًّا أَوْ فَقِيرًا فَاللَّهُ أَوْلَىٰ بِهِمَا ۖفَلَا تَتَّبِعُوا الْهَوَىٰ أَن تَعْدِلُوا ۚ وَإِن تَلْوُوا أَوْ تُعْرِضُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرًا

O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even though it be against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, be he rich or poor, Allah is a Better Protector to both (than you). So follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you avoid justice; and if you distort your witness or refuse to give it, verily, Allah is Ever Well-Acquainted with what you do.

And also in Surah Al Maidah [8]:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامِينَ لِلَّهِ شُهَدَاءَ بِالْقِسْطِ ۖ وَلَا يَجْرِمَنَّكُمْ شَنَآنُ قَوْمٍ عَلَىٰ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا ۚ اعْدِلُوا هُوَ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ ۖ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ

O you who believe! Stand out firmly for Allah as just witnesses; and let not the enmity and hatred of others make you avoid justice. Be just: that is nearer to piety; and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is Well-Acquainted with what you do.

I am polygamous, so what?

Years ago, when I wanted to marry my second wife, I asked our Imam in Aberdeen for his advice. He told me a phrase that still remains in my heart today, he told me: "you have to know that if you are going to marry another one, then this is a halal of Allah, this is a Sunnah, and you are certainly not doing anything wrong".
It is true, this is a halal of Allah, I do not see why are people trying to make it a crime today if one wants to marry another woman. It is abnormal to see all this animosity towards a man trying to take another one, making it like it was so unfair to his first wife etc, just as if the first wife had a veto to decide on the future of her husband.
Of course, one should have the means to do it, and if any brother reading these lines here is studying the possibility of marrying another one, then let me tell you that again: "This is a halal of Allah, if you really have the means to do it, then fear no one in the rights of Allah. Make sure you make your salat istikhara, then take your final decision, make tawakkul onto Allah and move ahead. Try to be as fair and just between the wives, provide each with her means, fear Allah and do not be unjust to anyone. Enter this marriage with the right niyyah (intention), and things should just be fine.

As of women who then threaten to divorce if the husband takes another one, then let it be. I have always told my first wife during the early stages of my Polygamy life that between a halal of Allah and you, who do you think I will chose? Let us be us, let just be who we are, just Muslim men and women, husband and wife, let us respect each others, and not keep blames and disputes for a halal of Allah.

"Your husband of today is the same one of yesterday, and the same one of tomorrow"

These are the words I told my first wife when I married my second one. I also took my children and told them in these words: "Listen, you dad has done nothing wrong, your dad of today, is the same one of yesterday and will be the same one tomorrow. Nothing has changed in us, it is just that dad has now another wife".

Of course, there has been initial storms at home, but let me highlight it again to any reader here: I just did not give any heed to whatever people said or did, including my own first wife. I put Allah above and beyond anyone else, pleases whom it pleases, and displeases whom it displeases. It was my life and of course, my destiny. Nothing is to happen to us that has not been already written in books kept with Allah. I knew I could handle two families, I had the physical and financial means, al hamdulil'Allah, it is not a crime and has never been one either.
As for the people who opened wide their mouths in criticism, enough for them to know that one day, they will certainly be asked about their reaction to a halal that Allah has written in His Quran.

When I look back at the whole situation today, I can only thank Allah that He allowed me to marry another wife and to practice this Sunnah. There has been much more advantages and blessings in a second marriage than has been inconveniences.

Today, things have settled al hamdulil'Allah, I am so Thankful to Allah for all of this.

History proved also that the ones who tried to "advise" my wife during her difficult times were not really "true advisers". What I always told her proved to be true and she could check it with her own eyes over time.

So my end message to my sisters in Islam is the following; if your husband takes another one, then just beware that the people around you who are advising you will be the first ones to drop you and leave you alone once you will have no husband left with you. It seems that the sole purpose of many people around us is to help break relations (working under the commands of who?). As they see one of their friends drowning, they often push the distressed person deeper into the water instead of offering a rescuing hand. And when the distressed person is really buried deep in sorrow and not able to surface again, they will just leave her/him alone, with a sense of mission accomplished...
Bottom line, stick to Allah, and seek only to please Him. If you have a test in your life, ask Allah for Help and ask no one else. Do not go too deep into philosophy and handle the matters with strength and clear mind. You will only be wasting your time crying and moaning on matters that you have no control of. The soonest you go back to surface, the soonest your boat will float again. If you face a storm, then be sure that this won't be the last one in your life. Keep the boat steering in the right direction. Life if short, be thankful to Allah to whatever blessings you might have. Think that many ones out there are completely deprived from so many blessings you already have.
"and be content/satisfied with whatever shares Allah Gave you, and you will be the richest person"