Friday, December 28, 2012

Who is Hatem Al Assam (حاتم الاصم)

He was a very wise person, known for his great trust onto Allah. He was one of the disciple of Shaqiq Al Balkhi. 
In all his circumstances, from beginning to end, he never once acted untruthfully, so that Junayd said: “Hatem al-Asamm is the veracious one (siddiq) of our time.” He has lofty sayings on the subtleties of discerning the cankers of the soul and the weaknesses of human nature, and is the author of famous works on ethics (`ilm-i mu`amalat). 

Hatem Al Assam is known for many wisdom words, among the most famous ones, is the speech he had with his shaikh Shaqiq.

One day Shaqiq Al Balkhi asked his student Hatem: Since how long have you kept my company?
Hatem replied: since thirty years.
Shaqiq asked him then: What have you then learnt from me in this period of time?
Hatem replied: I have gained from you eight benefits
Shaqiq said: We are to Allah and to Allah we shall return, my age was spent with you and you only learnt eight issues ?!
Hatem said: O Professor, I did not learn other than these and I do not like to lie
Shaqiq said: then give me these eight issues so that I could hear them.

Hatem al-Asam said: 

The first benefit is that I observed the creation and saw that everyone had loved one and one passionately desired whom he loved and longed for. Some of the beloved accompany the lover up to the brink of sickness and death and others to the gate of the graveyard. All of them return and leave him there alone. No one goes into the tomb with him. I looked into the matter and said to myself: 'The best beloved is that which would enter the tomb with the lover to console him'; I found it to be nothing else than good works, so I took this as my beloved, to illuminate my grave for me and to comfort me in it and not leave me alone.

At this point Shaqiq said: "May Allah bless you and grant you success. What is the second one?"


The second benefit is that I saw that the people were following their lusts and hastening towards the desires of the souls; and I meditated on the saying of Allah the Exalted: " But as for whoever has feared the Majesty of his Lord and has refrained his soul from lust, truly the Garden shall be his dwelling place" (Quran, 79:40-41). Convinced that the Quran was true and right, I began to deny my soul [its pleasures] and hurried to combat it and refuse it its passionate desires, until I enjoyed real satisfaction in obedience to Allah the Exalted.


The third benefit is that I saw that every human being is striving to accumulate as much as he can from the wreckage of this world and then holding on strongly to it. I meditated on the Quranic verse: "What is with you vanishes; what is with Allah is lasting" (Quran, 19:96). So I gave freely my wordy possessions for His sake by distributing them among the poor so that it would be my provision in the future with Him the Exalted.

The fourth benefit is that some people whom I observed think that their dignity and honor lie in the multitude of their family and large clans. They were fascinated by these things. Others claimed honor and dignity in abundance of wealth and children, and they were proud of it. Some believed honor and power abide in appropriating the wealth of others, doing injustice to them and shedding their blood. Others considered dignity to consist of extravagance and spending wealth in a foolish manner. I meditated upon the saying of the Exalted: "The most honored of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you "(Quran, 49:13). I chose righteousness for myself, convinced that the Quran is right and true and those claims and opinions of the people are all false and temporal.

The fifth benefit is that I found people slandering each other and speaking ill of one another out of envy of fortune, power and knowledge. I meditated upon the saying of Allah: It is We who divide their livelihood among them in the life of this world (Quran, 43:32). I realized that the process of dividing livelihood is entirely in the hands of Allah since the beginning of time. Therefore I never envied anyone and was satisfied with the distribution of Allah the Exalted.

The sixth benefit is that I saw people becoming enemies of each other for difference reasons. I meditated upon the saying of Allah: "Verily, Satan is an enemy to you; so treat him as an enemy"(Quran, 35:6). I became aware that enmity with anyone except Satan was not permissible.

The seventh benefit is that I saw everyone working very hard, exhausting themselves to obtain food and sustenance, tempted by doubts and forbidden things. They degraded themselves in humiliation. I pondered over the saying of Allah the Exalted: "There is no moving creature on earth but that its sustenance is dependent on Allah"(Quran, 11:6). I knew that my livelihood is guaranteed by Allah the Exalted, so I engaged myself in worship and cut off my covetousness of all else, other than Him.

The eighth benefit is that I saw that everyone relied on some created thing, some on the dinar and dirham, some on wealth and property, some on trade and craft and some on creatures like themselves. I meditated on the saying of Allah the Exalted: "And whosoever places his reliance on Allah, sufficient is [Allah] for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose. Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion"(Quran, 65:3). I therefore placed full trust in Allah the Exalted. He is sufficient for me and He is the best Disposer of affairs."


Shaqiq said: O HatemMay Allah Help you, I looked at the science and found all kinds of goodness and religion, are turning around these eight issues.

Other Wisdom words from Hatem Al Assam:

Hafiz Abu Naim reports that a man asked Hatem Al Assam: On which things have you built your trust (tawakkul) onto Allah?
Hatem replied: on four qualities: I learned that my sustenance will not be taken by another other person, so I am at peace with that, and I learned that my work will not be done by any other one, so I keep busy at it, and I learned that death comes suddenly so I am hastening to prepare for it, and I learned that I do not escape from Allah's sight, so I keep shy of Him.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Should You Change/Quit Your Job?

,,and the answer to this question is most likely: NO.

It could happen that you reach a point where you feel that your current job is not suitable for you anymore. You may not  enjoy the work anymore, you feel depressed, surrounded by " enemy colleagues", or have an incompetent and dictatorial manager.

Sometimes on the other hands, you already have a good job and suddenly,  you get a call one day from another company asking you to join them as they are in need of your expertise.

In both cases, most of your friends or other colleagues or relatives would then certainly  tell you to go ahead and find something better for you. Well, that might not really be the case.

What are the Ulamas saying on this


Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen, may Allah Have Mercy on him said: It has been reported from Umar Ibn Al- Khattab May Allah be Pleased with him,  a very useful word, which is saying: “Whoever finds the barakah (blessing) in something, then let him hold onto it”, means if a person performs a work and finds in it the blessing and success, let him not change it or drop it. 

Encouragement to feel satisfied

The satisfaction (القناعة) is a treasure, whoever finds it, has certainly succeeded and is successful. Certainly, the richness is the richness of the heart, whoever was granted this blessing (satisfaction) by Allah is living a peaceful life.

The richness of heart will inherit a person the satisfaction that makes him not look at what is in the hands of other people of wealth, because such person would not look at who is above him, rather he would look at who is below him so that he would not belittle the blessings of Allah on him. So you would find him always having an increase of richness while thanking and praising his Master Allah, to the opposite of the one who constantly look at the ones above him,  so he curses what he has and Allah the Puts the poverty between his eyes and all his life is miserable and full of anger, depression sorrow and distress. 

What is Satisfaction/ Contentment (القناعة)

Qana'aa is taken from if someone is content/satisfied with something, he is happy with it and does not wish to have more than that and he does not want to reach out to others, and not wishing what is in the hands of others to be his. 

The believer must be content even if he is poor and in need.
One of the hadeeths of contentment is from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, in an authentic hadeeth where the Prophet (PBUH) said: " Let no one of you look at who is above him in wealth or creation"

So do not look to who is better than you in wealth or in the creation, you may have a weak body, but Allah blessed you with health. You might not have nice hair, but you were granted nice teeth. If you keep looking at who is stronger than you, and who is wealthier than you, you will never feel content with what Allah Gave you in blessings.

No matter how you look at a strong person, you will always find someone stronger than him.This applies to the animals too, an animal will always find another one stronger than him, and the bird will always find a better looking bird. 

This applies to occupations too, you will always find someone who has a better job than you.

Such is life, Allah Has created humans, and He has split on them different wealth and different occupations. The Engineer will always need the cleaner, then cleaner will always need the doctor, the doctor will always need the plumber and the plumber will always need the mason and so on. We just cannot imagine the planet could be just full of doctors, or full of teachers or full of engineers, the word would collapse, this is the way Allah Has created us, we need one another.

Real Case Stories:

I would like to share with you some real stories of people whom I worked with and whom I know personally. I have many other cases, but I will only list a few here.

Case #1 - M:

M. was a supervisor, he got a nice job working for our company on a rotation schedule 4 x 4 in a nice country. M. did not really like the weather in this new country and started complaining from the 1st week at work. At the same time, there were 3 other companies looking for him. I told him to stay patient and to take this excellent opportunity  but to no avail. Somehow, M. decided to quit his job and returned home for another job. I have then been in contact with him and across the following 5 years, he was living very miserably, all the other companies that had looked for him were not in need of his services anymore. He kept making job interviews but there were just no job for him, and I though Subhane Allah, when Allah granted you a job without any interview, you did not realize this blessing, now you have to go through several interviews and you just cannot get one.

Case #2 - Y:

Y's case was almost similar to M's, except that Y. was an Engineer. Y. was also hired to work in a nice country, but several companies were seeking his expertise and kept luring him. Seeing this, Y. started growing grumpier at work and he was openly showing it, he would often confront his manager for this and that, until reaching a point where his manager decided to let him go at the first opportunity, which happened during the oil collapse in early 2000.
Y did join of the companies that were luring him, but he only stayed there for two weeks before they had to let him go due to cost cuttings (last in, first out principle).
Y. then struggled for a couple of years, he got lucky that the industry got healthier and he was able to join back our company in some other place. He since then learnt to be more thankful to Allah and take more care of his job.

Case #3 - K:

K. was an Engineer. Same to Y, things started to change when other companies started contacting him for joining them. He took this opportunity to ask for higher position and better place, else he would quit and join this other company.
Our company tried to retain him and offered him some substantial increase, but K did not thank Allah for that and set up his mind to quit. 
I spoke with K about M and Y and told him not to do so, that he should be learning from the mistakes of others but again, to no avail.
One year after he joined that company, K got laid off. He struggled for some time trying to get back. After a long time, the company offered him a job but it was not as high as the original one he was offered but had turned down. He had no choice but to accept and returned working under their conditions.

Case #4 - D & L:

D & L were top brains in our corporate office, they had several years experience and had many contacts. They decided to go and open their own consultancy company. Within 6 months, they ran bankrupted. One of them managed to get back to the company, but the other one ended working as a night shift company man on a rig somewhere in Alaska, a complete drop in his career!..

Lessons learnt:

  1. From all the above, it appears that one should really be careful with his/her job when Allah has giving him the provision.Never cut your provision with your own hands or you will regret it!
  2. Very often, the people who quit/change their work get very disappointed with their new company, because they always saw some of the glittering gold on the other side, but forgot to see the glittering gold that they already had.
  3. The neighbor's grass is NOT greener, take what you already have and perfect yourself in the current position. Remember that it is Allah Who Gives, and you should direct your requests to Him only. If you want a pay raise, ask Allah, if you want a better manager, ask Allah, if you want a better position, ask Allah. All the keys are in His Hands.
  4. Past experience has shown that it is the same issues wherever you go, so just stick where you are and try to make the most of it, keep thanking Allah for what you already have.
  5. Your salary will come to you one way or another, remember that the wealth to reach you has already been written on you before you were even born, there is a hadeeth on this. Wherever you are, you will get your provision, as Allah will shower you with your daily provision. It is crucial that you do not cut your provision with your own hands and run into trouble. 
  6. Rest assured that your wealth is yours, and only yours, no one else will take it. Whatever Allah Has split on you as substance, it is for you alone and you will get it, and you will get it to the last penny. So do not worry for your provisions, but do not sleep hoping to get money, rather you should move ahead with careful decisions and make tawakklul onto Allah, but do not waste your wealth or lose yourself.
  7. Keep satisfied with what you already have. Do not look at people above you, but look at the thousands or millions that are below you and would love to get the same position that you have.
  8. When you are afflicted in your job, just stay patient and things should improve. The bad manager will never last for ever, the bad colleague will soon move on, and the work load will soon get lighter.
  9. Just stay patient, and be thankful for whatever you have always, always, always...

Will changing/quitting your job bring you happiness?

If things really start to turn sour at work, and you really get into non-productive mode, then you may resort to change your work, but do not quit it.

For those who want to lean more, spend some time and read this article below pulled from Harvard Business Review:

What the Experts Say

According to Gretchen Spreitzer, professor of management and organizations at University of Michigan's Ross School of Business and coauthor of "Creating Sustainable Performance," people are highly dissatisfied when their job has no meaning or purpose to them, provides little opportunity to learn, or leaves them depleted at the end of the work day.
Whatever the reason you are unhappy, you don't have to just live with it or quit. In fact, even if you are able to find another job, staying put may be the best option. "Job searching and changing jobs is not a trivial matter. It is often costly to career momentum and earnings as much as it is a boon," says Amy Wrzesniewski, an associate professor of organizational behavior at the Yale School of Management and coauthor of "Turn the Job You Have into the Job You Want." The good news is that there is usually more leeway to alter your job than you think. "There are often real areas for movement and change that people tend not to recognize," she says. Here's how to make the most of an imperfect job situation.
Look at yourself
Whether or not you are satisfied with your job often has to do with your disposition, says Sigal Barsade, the Joseph Frank Bernstein Professor of Management at The Wharton School. Some people are naturally inclined to be unhappy, while others have a brighter take on life. Before you declare your job a bad fit, take a look at yourself. Barsade says it's worth asking: Are you just the kind of person who tends to be dissatisfied? This understanding may not make you like your job better, but may make you think twice before you look for a new position.
Find meaning
Speitzer's research shows that finding more meaning in your work can dramatically improve job satisfaction. Barsade agrees; she recommends looking at your job responsibilities through a different lens. For example, if your position involves menial tasks, try to remember they are stepping stones to a longer term goal and you won't be doing them forever. Or, if you are in a field that is emotionally taxing, like nursing or social work, remind yourself that while you are tired at the end of the day, you are helping others. It also helps to connect with colleagues. Seek out opportunities to show compassion and express gratitude. Spend time with coworkers you like. "Stronger emotional connections at work lead to a myriad of positive physiological and social effects," says Barsade.
Alter what you do
If you can't change your perspective, you may be able to shift your job responsibilities. And you don't necessarily have to transfer departments or get a promotion to do it. Spreitzer and Wrzesniewski suggest using a job crafting exercise to redesign your job to better fit your motives, strengths, and passions. "Some people make radical moves; others make small changes" in how they delegate or schedule their day, Wrzesniewski says. While the former might require approval from your manager, the latter often doesn't. For example, if your most enjoyable task is talking with clients, but you feel buried in paperwork, you might decide to always speak with clients in the morning, so you're energized to get through the drudge work for the rest of the day. Or you might save talking with your clients until the end of the day as a reward.
Change who you interact with
If it's not the work you dislike but the people you work with, you may be able to change that too. Wrzesniewski says she has seen people successfully alter who they interact with on a daily basis to increase job satisfaction. Focus on forging relationships that give you energy, rather than sapping it. Seek out people who can help you do your job better. Wrzesniewski gives the example of workers at a hospital who were responsible for cleaning patients' rooms. They relied on a centralized dispatch to tell them when rooms were open and what products were safe to use based on the occupant. But dispatch didn't always have the most up-to-date information. This meant the workers couldn't do their jobs as well as they wanted to, leaving them dissatisfied. When they developed relationships with the clerks on each ward, they received more accurate information and were able to do a more efficient job of cleaning. Of course, if your relationship with your boss or your coworkers is especially difficult, you may not be able to work around them. "Job crafting can't turn around any job situation. It's not a cure-all," Wrzesniewski says.
Resist complaining
When you're in the wrong job, it can be tempting to moan about it to others. But it's not advisable. "Complaining about your job is a recipe for trouble. You never know how the complaints may be shared with others in the organization," says Spreitzer. Plus you may drag others down with you. If you are unhappy, it's better to focus on what you can change not grumble about what you can't.
Keep options open
The improvements you make to your job situation may make things more tolerable, but you should always be open to the next thing. "You can improve your job but you can also be on the lookout for new opportunities," says Speitzer. Be sure your resume (e.g. your LinkedIn profile) is up to date and that you are continually meeting people in the field you want to be in.
Principles to Remember
Do:
  • Make connections with people you like at work
  • Assess what you don't enjoy about your job so that you can minimize the time you spend doing unwanted tasks
  • Keep your options open — you may not be able to leave your job now, but circumstances may change
Don't:
  • Assume that the job is the problem — you may be prone to being dissatisfied
  • Think you're stuck — there is usually more leeway to alter your job than you think
  • Complain incessantly about your job and bring others down



Friday, October 5, 2012

You Are Beautiful The Way Allah Created You

A news article caught my attention this morning, it was about a young Thai woman, 33,  who died after weeks in coma, following an illegal cosmetic filler injection into her buttocks: 'Sleeping beauty' dies after weeks in coma

http://www.yourhealth.com.sg/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/field/image/oct0312_sleeping.jpg

In today's world, beauty seems to become the obsession of so many people, both men and women. But why do people seek to look "better" and spend a fortune on cosmetics/ plastic surgeries and other beautification treatments?

I personally think that the answer to these questions could originate on the fact that few people are really "thankful" to Allah for what they already have, people are not satisfied with themselves because they fail to recognize the blessings that Allah Has already bestowed on them. Another possible answer is that people are seeking to please the society, or please "other ones" rather than Allah, and both the society and "other one" will just never be pleased, no matter what they could do.

It is impossible to get everything to make a person happy. There will always be something else that this person would seek to have. The Prophet (S) talked about this in his hadeeth, as Narrated by Ibn 'Abbas:
I heard the Prophet saying, "If the son of Adam (the human being) had two valley of money, he would wish for a third, for nothing can fill the belly of Adam's son except dust, and Allah forgives him who repents to him." 444. Volume 8, Book 76 To make the Heart Tender

Allah the Exalted says (what means): “And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (14:34)

And The Exalted said (what means): “And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (16:18)

The neighbour's grass looks always greener, seek the happiness in what you already have, look for the people who are below you and don't look at the ones above you, that will allow you to appreciate what you already have and would lead you to thank Allah.You will then certainly find the beauty inside you.

May Allah Make Blessings in All that He Bestowed on us and Make our hearts satisfied with His Favors.

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