My life is full of problems حياتي كلها مشاكل

I have read this kind of poem below over the net/ chain mails several years ago. The original text is in Arabic, on the form of a poetry. I do not know who was the original author of this unfortunately. This poem has the same concept of one of my previous entries, we had similar thoughts but different approach.

I just wanted to share it as it contains some valuable lessons we could learn. I have added also the Arabic and French versions of this for expanding the audience.

I particularly like to retain the fact that the neighbor's grass is NOT greener.

Of course, let no one contemplate suicide as a solution to his/her misery, certainly such desperate act would lead its owner to dwell in hell fire for ever. Suicide is completely forbidden in Islam. When facing difficulties, just seek the help of Allah, as simply as that. He is more than sufficient for you, won't you agree?

***

My life is full of problems, there are no solutions

Suicide is the only solution

I'll jump, and indeed, I jumped

This is the ninth floor, there is the happy couple husband and wife, known in the building ..

They argue, in fact they were never happy..

This is the eighth floor,

Is it not this young happy man and cheerful, known in the building?!

He cries.. he cries so much!

This is the seventh floor,

Is it not this the most active woman in the building?

What does she do?

What is this pale face?

And what are all these drugs?

She takes her medication,

She seems very sick...

This is the sixth floor,

Is it not our neighbor, a graduate Engineer for five years?

He still buys seven daily papers looking for a job!

This is the fifth floor,

This is our old neighbor ... He waits for someone to visit him and ask after him

He expects one of his married sons or daughters

But nobody has ever knocked on his door!

He seems so sad...

This is the fourth floor,

Is it not our beautiful neighbor, so elegant and smiling!?

She looks at a photo of her late husband, who died three years ago and she cries...

Before jumping out of the building, I thought I was the saddest person and the most miserable one in the world!

Now, I realize that everyone has their problems and sorrows that are unique to them

And after seeing all this I realized that my pain and misery were nothing in fact,

The people I saw during the jump are the ones looking at me now,

If everyone of us having a misfortune just thought that his/her neighbor had a much worse misfortune than his/her own,

It would make him/her a much happier person

So thank your Lord...

Did you get the message???

Do not be discouraged for a short disappearing life. For Allah, everything life holds is not even equal to the weight of the wing of a mosquito If the value of the world was equal to that of the wing of a mosquito by Allah, He would not have allowed any Kaafir even a drink of water from it." Narrated be Tirmidhi

And know that Allah is certainly with the patient people.

Bottom line:

.. if you find no way out, if the doors are closed, if you are unable to think, if the earth seems narrow despite its wideness, if if if ... then just stand up and call Allaaaah!

It is He Who Hears, it is He Who Answers, He is the Almighty.

French Version:

Ma vie est pleine de problèmes, il n’y a pas de solutions

Le suicide est la seule solution

Je vais bondir, et en effet, j’ai bondi

C'est le neuvième étage, c’est ce couple heureux du mari et de sa femme, connus dans le bâtiment..

Ils se disputent, ils n’étaient en fait jamais heureux

C’est le huitième étage

N'est-ce pas ce jeune homme gai et joyeux, connu dans le bâtiment ?!

Il pleure..il pleure très fort!

C’est le septième étage

N'est-ce pas là la femme la plus active du bâtiment

Que fait-elle?

Quel est ce visage pâle?

Et que sont tous ces médicaments

Elle prend ses médicaments..

Elle semble très malade

C'est le sixième étage,

N'est-ce pas là notre voisin, diplômé ingénieur depuis cinq ans

Il achète toujours sept quotidiens pour chercher du travail!

C’est le cinquième étage

C'est notre voisin vieux... Il attend que quelqu’un lui rende visite et demande après lui

Il attend ses fils et ses filles mariés

Mais personne n’a jamais frappé à sa porte!

Il semble triste

C’est le quatrième étage

N'est-ce pas notre belle voisine élégante et souriante!

Elle regarde une photo de son défunt mari, mort depuis trois ans et elle pleure

Avant de sauter de l'immeuble, je pensais être la personne la plus triste et la plus misérable au monde

Maintenant, je me suis rendu compte que chacun a ses problèmes et ses peines qui lui sont propre

Et après avoir vu tout cela j’ai compris que ma douleur et ma misère n'était rien du tout, en fin de compte

Les gens que j’ai vus pendant le saut me regardent maintenant

Si chacun d'entre nous ayant un malheur pensait juste que son prochain avait un malheur beaucoup plus grave que le sien,

Il deviendrait une personne beaucoup plus heureuse

Alors remercie ton Seigneur

Avez-vous compris le message???

Ne sois pas découragé pour une vie éphémère. Pour Dieu, tout ce qu’elle peut contenir n'est même pas égal au poids de l'aile d’un moustique Si la valeur du monde était égale à celle de l'aile d'un moustique par Allah, Il n'aurait pas permis à un Kafir même pas une gorgée d'eau à partir de celui-ci. "Rapporté par Tirmidhi

Et sache que Dieu est avec les gens patients

Conclusion:

..si tu ne trouves pas d'issue, si les portes se ferment, si tu es incapable de penser, si la terre te paraît étroite, si si ...alors releve toi et appelle Allaaah !

C'est Lui qui Entend, c'est Lui qui Répond, c'est Lui le Tout-puissant.

Arabic Version:

حياتي كلها مشاكل

ليس لها حلول

الإنتحار هو الحل الوحيد

سأقفز

وبالفعل قفزت

انه الطابق التاسع .. انه الزوج والزوجة السعيدان المعروفان في المبنى

انهما يتشاجران

لم يكونا سعيدين أبداً

  

انه الطابق الثامن

أليس هذا الشاب الضحوك المعروف في المبنى ..؟!

انه يبكي .. يبكي بشدة !

انه الطابق السابع

أليست هذه المرأة الأكثر نشاطاً في المبنى

ماذا تفعل؟

ما هذا الوجه الشاحب

وما كل هذه الأدوية

أنها تأخذ أدويتها

تبدو مريضة جداً

انه الطابق السادس..

أليس هذا جارنا المهندس لقد تخرج منذ خمس سنوات

مازال يشترى سبع صحف يوميا ليبحث عن عمل !!

  

انه الطابق الخامس

انه جارنا العجوز ... ينتظر أحداً يزوره ويسأل عن أحواله

انه ينتظر بناته أولاده المتزوجين

ولكن بابه لم يدق يوماً !!

يبدو حزينا

انه الطابق الرابع

أليست هذه جارتنا الأنيقة الجميلة المتبسمة ..!

انها تنظر إلى صورة زوجها الراحل منذ ثلاث سنين وتبكي

  

قبل أن أقفز من المبنى اعتقدت بأنني الشخص الأكثر حزناً وبؤساً

الأن أدركت أن لكل شخص مشاكله وأحزانه الخاصة

وبعدما شاهدت كل هذا وجدت أن حزني وبؤسي في الحقيقة لم يكن سيئاً على الإطلاق

الناس الذين رأيتهم وانا أقفز ينظرون إلي الآن !

لو ان كل واحد منا فكر ان لغيره مصيبة أعظم من مصيبته

لكان سعيدا

فاحمد ربك

هل وصلتكم الرسالة ؟؟؟

لا تبتئس لدنيا فانية .. كل ما فيها لا يساوي عند الله جناح بعوضة

واعلم ان الله مع الصابرين

Should You Change/Quit Your Job?

,,and the answer to this question is most likely: NO.

It could happen that you reach a point where you feel that your current job is not suitable for you anymore. You may not  enjoy the work anymore, you feel depressed, surrounded by " enemy colleagues", or have an incompetent and dictatorial manager.

Sometimes on the other hands, you already have a good job and suddenly,  you get a call one day from another company asking you to join them as they are in need of your expertise.

In both cases, most of your friends or other colleagues or relatives would then certainly  tell you to go ahead and find something better for you. Well, that might not really be the case.

What are the Ulamas saying on this

Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen, may Allah Have Mercy on him said: It has been reported from Umar Ibn Al- Khattab May Allah be Pleased with him,  a very useful word, which is saying: “Whoever finds the barakah (blessing) in something, then let him hold onto it”, means if a person performs a work and finds in it the blessing and success, let him not change it or drop it. 

Encouragement to feel satisfied

The satisfaction (القناعة) is a treasure, whoever finds it, has certainly succeeded and is successful. Certainly, the richness is the richness of the heart, whoever was granted this blessing (satisfaction) by Allah is living a peaceful life.

The richness of heart will inherit a person the satisfaction that makes him not look at what is in the hands of other people of wealth, because such person would not look at who is above him, rather he would look at who is below him so that he would not belittle the blessings of Allah on him. So you would find him always having an increase of richness while thanking and praising his Master Allah, to the opposite of the one who constantly look at the ones above him,  so he curses what he has and Allah the Puts the poverty between his eyes and all his life is miserable and full of anger, depression sorrow and distress. 

What is Satisfaction/ Contentment (القناعة)

Qana'aa is taken from if someone is content/satisfied with something, he is happy with it and does not wish to have more than that and he does not want to reach out to others, and not wishing what is in the hands of others to be his. 

The believer must be content even if he is poor and in need.

One of the hadeeths of contentment is from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, in an authentic hadeeth where the Prophet (PBUH) said: " Let no one of you look at who is above him in wealth or creation" . 

So do not look to who is better than you in wealth or in the creation, you may have a weak body, but Allah blessed you with health. You might not have nice hair, but you were granted nice teeth. If you keep looking at who is stronger than you, and who is wealthier than you, you will never feel content with what Allah Gave you in blessings.

No matter how you look at a strong person, you will always find someone stronger than him.This applies to the animals too, an animal will always find another one stronger than him, and the bird will always find a better looking bird. 

This applies to occupations too, you will always find someone who has a better job than you.

Such is life, Allah Has created humans, and He has split on them different wealth and different occupations. The Engineer will always need the cleaner, then cleaner will always need the doctor, the doctor will always need the plumber and the plumber will always need the mason and so on. We just cannot imagine the planet could be just full of doctors, or full of teachers or full of engineers, the word would collapse, this is the way Allah Has created us, we need one another.

Real Case Stories:

I would like to share with you some real stories of people whom I worked with and whom I know personally. I have many other cases, but I will only list a few here.

Case #1 - M:

M. was a supervisor, he got a nice job working for our company on a rotation schedule 4 x 4 in a nice country. M. did not really like the weather in this new country and started complaining from the 1st week at work. At the same time, there were 3 other companies looking for him. I told him to stay patient and to take this excellent opportunity  but to no avail. Somehow, M. decided to quit his job and returned home for another job. I have then been in contact with him and across the following 5 years, he was living very miserably, all the other companies that had looked for him were not in need of his services anymore. He kept making job interviews but there were just no job for him, and I though Subhane Allah, when Allah granted you a job without any interview, you did not realize this blessing, now you have to go through several interviews and you just cannot get one.

Case #2 - Y:

Y's case was almost similar to M's, except that Y. was an Engineer. Y. was also hired to work in a nice country, but several companies were seeking his expertise and kept luring him. Seeing this, Y. started growing grumpier at work and he was openly showing it, he would often confront his manager for this and that, until reaching a point where his manager decided to let him go at the first opportunity, which happened during the oil collapse in early 2000.
Y did join of the companies that were luring him, but he only stayed there for two weeks before they had to let him go due to cost cuttings (last in, first out principle).
Y. then struggled for a couple of years, he got lucky that the industry got healthier and he was able to join back our company in some other place. He since then learnt to be more thankful to Allah and take more care of his job.

Case #3 - K:

K. was an Engineer. Same to Y, things started to change when other companies started contacting him for joining them. He took this opportunity to ask for higher position and better place, else he would quit and join this other company.

Our company tried to retain him and offered him some substantial increase, but K did not thank Allah for that and set up his mind to quit. 

I spoke with K about M and Y and told him not to do so, that he should be learning from the mistakes of others but again, to no avail.

One year after he joined that company, K got laid off. He struggled for some time trying to get back. After a long time, the company offered him a job but it was not as high as the original one he was offered but had turned down. He had no choice but to accept and returned working under their conditions.

Case #4 - D & L:

D & L were top brains in our corporate office, they had several years experience and had many contacts. They decided to go and open their own consultancy company. Within 6 months, they ran bankrupted. One of them managed to get back to the company, but the other one ended working as a night shift company man on a rig somewhere in Alaska, a complete drop in his career!..

Lessons learnt:

1. From all the above, it appears that one should really be careful with his/her job when Allah has giving him the provision.Never cut your provision with your own hands or you will regret it!
2. Very often, the people who quit/change their work get very disappointed with their new company, because they always saw some of the glittering gold on the other side, but forgot to see the glittering gold that they already had.
3. The neighbor's grass is NOT greener, take what you already have and perfect yourself in the current position. Remember that it is Allah Who Gives, and you should direct your requests to Him only. If you want a pay raise, ask Allah, if you want a better manager, ask Allah, if you want a better position, ask Allah. All the keys are in His Hands.
4. Past experience has shown that it is the same issues wherever you go, so just stick where you are and try to make the most of it, keep thanking Allah for what you already have.
5. Your salary will come to you one way or another, remember that the wealth to reach you has already been written on you before you were even born, there is a hadeeth on this. Wherever you are, you will get your provision, as Allah will shower you with your daily provision. It is crucial that you do not cut your provision with your own hands and run into trouble. 
6. Rest assured that your wealth is yours, and only yours, no one else will take it. Whatever Allah Has split on you as substance, it is for you alone and you will get it, and you will get it to the last penny. So do not worry for your provisions, but do not sleep hoping to get money, rather you should move ahead with careful decisions and make tawakklul onto Allah, but do not waste your wealth or lose yourself.
7. Keep satisfied with what you already have. Do not look at people above you, but look at the thousands or millions that are below you and would love to get the same position that you have.
8. When you are afflicted in your job, just stay patient and things should improve. The bad manager will never last for ever, the bad colleague will soon move on, and the work load will soon get lighter.
9. Just stay patient, and be thankful for whatever you have always, always, always...

Will changing/quitting your job bring you happiness?

If things really start to turn sour at work, and you really get into non-productive mode, then you may resort to change your work, but do not quit it.

For those who want to lean more, spend some time and read this article below pulled from Harvard Business Review:

What the Experts Say

According to Gretchen Spreitzer, professor of management and organizations at University of Michigan's Ross School of Business and coauthor of "Creating Sustainable Performance," people are highly dissatisfied when their job has no meaning or purpose to them, provides little opportunity to learn, or leaves them depleted at the end of the work day.

Whatever the reason you are unhappy, you don't have to just live with it or quit. In fact, even if you are able to find another job, staying put may be the best option. "Job searching and changing jobs is not a trivial matter. It is often costly to career momentum and earnings as much as it is a boon," says Amy Wrzesniewski, an associate professor of organizational behavior at the Yale School of Management and coauthor of "Turn the Job You Have into the Job You Want." The good news is that there is usually more leeway to alter your job than you think. "There are often real areas for movement and change that people tend not to recognize," she says. Here's how to make the most of an imperfect job situation.

Look at yourself
Whether or not you are satisfied with your job often has to do with your disposition, says Sigal Barsade, the Joseph Frank Bernstein Professor of Management at The Wharton School. Some people are naturally inclined to be unhappy, while others have a brighter take on life. Before you declare your job a bad fit, take a look at yourself. Barsade says it's worth asking: Are you just the kind of person who tends to be dissatisfied? This understanding may not make you like your job better, but may make you think twice before you look for a new position.

Find meaning
Speitzer's research shows that finding more meaning in your work can dramatically improve job satisfaction. Barsade agrees; she recommends looking at your job responsibilities through a different lens. For example, if your position involves menial tasks, try to remember they are stepping stones to a longer term goal and you won't be doing them forever. Or, if you are in a field that is emotionally taxing, like nursing or social work, remind yourself that while you are tired at the end of the day, you are helping others. It also helps to connect with colleagues. Seek out opportunities to show compassion and express gratitude. Spend time with coworkers you like. "Stronger emotional connections at work lead to a myriad of positive physiological and social effects," says Barsade.

Alter what you do
If you can't change your perspective, you may be able to shift your job responsibilities. And you don't necessarily have to transfer departments or get a promotion to do it. Spreitzer and Wrzesniewski suggest using a job crafting exercise to redesign your job to better fit your motives, strengths, and passions. "Some people make radical moves; others make small changes" in how they delegate or schedule their day, Wrzesniewski says. While the former might require approval from your manager, the latter often doesn't. For example, if your most enjoyable task is talking with clients, but you feel buried in paperwork, you might decide to always speak with clients in the morning, so you're energized to get through the drudge work for the rest of the day. Or you might save talking with your clients until the end of the day as a reward.

Change who you interact with
If it's not the work you dislike but the people you work with, you may be able to change that too. Wrzesniewski says she has seen people successfully alter who they interact with on a daily basis to increase job satisfaction. Focus on forging relationships that give you energy, rather than sapping it. Seek out people who can help you do your job better. Wrzesniewski gives the example of workers at a hospital who were responsible for cleaning patients' rooms. They relied on a centralized dispatch to tell them when rooms were open and what products were safe to use based on the occupant. But dispatch didn't always have the most up-to-date information. This meant the workers couldn't do their jobs as well as they wanted to, leaving them dissatisfied. When they developed relationships with the clerks on each ward, they received more accurate information and were able to do a more efficient job of cleaning. Of course, if your relationship with your boss or your coworkers is especially difficult, you may not be able to work around them. "Job crafting can't turn around any job situation. It's not a cure-all," Wrzesniewski says.

Resist complaining
When you're in the wrong job, it can be tempting to moan about it to others. But it's not advisable. "Complaining about your job is a recipe for trouble. You never know how the complaints may be shared with others in the organization," says Spreitzer. Plus you may drag others down with you. If you are unhappy, it's better to focus on what you can change not grumble about what you can't.

Keep options open
The improvements you make to your job situation may make things more tolerable, but you should always be open to the next thing. "You can improve your job but you can also be on the lookout for new opportunities," says Speitzer. Be sure your resume (e.g. your LinkedIn profile) is up to date and that you are continually meeting people in the field you want to be in.

Principles to Remember

Do:

• Make connections with people you like at work
• Assess what you don't enjoy about your job so that you can minimize the time you spend doing unwanted tasks
• Keep your options open — you may not be able to leave your job now, but circumstances may change

Don't:

• Assume that the job is the problem — you may be prone to being dissatisfied
• Think you're stuck — there is usually more leeway to alter your job than you think
• Complain incessantly about your job and bring others down

Reference : Don't Like Your Job? Change It (Without Quitting)

Desperate

My life is desperate....it is full of sadness and sorrow, I am so desperate that I just wanna die..

                                                                                                                                                                        

Let me take a walk in my neighborhood...I just feel so desperate..

                                                                                                                                                                   

 Hey, this is the house of Mr. A....he seems so sad, his wife died few years ago, his 9 children are rarely paying a visit to him. Two of his sons are living close by, yet, they barely heat up the chair they sit on when they come to see him, nor send him any money or food.

                                                                                                                                                                   

This is the house of Mrs. F!. She has been widower at young age and is now growing old, but she has not managed to see her grand children for years, as her son refuses to visit her or bring them to her. She cries a lot and looks very sad too...She used to be a very pretty woman, but she refused to remarry in order to take care of her four children. Today, the children are all grown up and they seem to have forgotten all the good that she did to them.

                                                                                                                                                                   

Here is Miss J flat...look, she too is crying...she built dreams onto marrying her long time fiancé, but he turned to be a crook and is now serving prison term. He was put in jail few weeks before their planned wedding. Miss J's father recently died and the flat owner refuses to extend the lease, soon she will be left without house, without father and without husband.                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                                                                   

This is Dr. S house. He has been married for very long time, but they still have not been blessed by any baby. His wife looks very sad, she prays a lot to be a mother...Him too is very sad, he tries to hide his sorrow the best he could. Their house is so silent..

                                                                                                                                                                   

I am close to Mr and Mrs. K house...both of them have been out of job for years, they are job seeking but can't find any durable job. As a result, they had to pull their elder daughter out of school as they can't afford the fees anymore, the family is in real desperate need, morale is low, a lot of crying and sadness are in this house...

                                                                                                                                                                   

I'm passing by Mrs. H house..She has a nice family, but her husband is a drug addict. This is certainly a calamity and she is confronted to a serious and terrible issue, her tears won't help calm the little crying kids, the family is running low on money, debts are building up...

                                                                                                                                                                   

This is the house of Mr & Mrs. I. She has a very nice house, she is a young lady but she has been battling with cancer for few years now. She has Leukemia and she has young children...I am not sure about what could be all her feelings in this situation...

                                                                                                                                                                   

So, did you get the message? You must be thankful for what you have, and just stop complaining. There are so many people around us who are in a much worse situation than ours. We all know one of these individuals, who are by the way, all real personalities, from my relatives and friends. Their story is as described, I can't find any word sometimes to say when I meet with them. All I can tell them, is to stay patient, that after the hardship, there is ease...after hardship, there is ease...